Navigation and Destination

It has been a very busy and interesting 3 months since our departure from the Santa Clarita Valley and our wonderful church, friends and community. The retreat was good, the trip to Uganda was amazing and now what... What is next Lord? I have found myself asking this question quite a bit. I am accustomed to being so much busier, so much more productive, needed (or at least the illusion of being needed), involved, connected to His body. Here in Las Vegas it is as expected; very lonely HOT, and uncomfortable. As I said, all is as expected. I have been here before, done this. We have moved and started over before. But never before have I left so much of myself behind. So many of my dreams for the future and all in good things that I was certain were God's will for my life. I am not saying that those dream, homes, plans and desires are not still part of God's plan, but that I have, with good reason, been questioning what is my will versus what is His will. So now that the agenda is clear, there are no meetings, groups to lead, leaders to help equip and encourage, no speaking or singing engagements, no church outreaches to plan or attend, no one meeting with me for counsel and prayer I have been seriously pondering my purpose and His desire for me. Am I moving away from my destiny or towards it? Because honestly Lord, this feels like we are going in the opposite direction.

Needless to say I have been fighting off the feeling of aimlessness having to trust that I am not just out here wandering in the literal and spiritual desert. I will confess, I may have been feeling a bit sorry for myself and even whining to God a little between the "What now?" prayers. Eric and I were out driving around on Sunday exploring Las Vegas to get a better feel for the different communities and to just get out of the house for a while. We decided to check out the "Miracle Mile Mall" on the Vegas Strip and entered it into his GPS Navigation system. The directions pointed us in what appeared to be the opposite direction from where we needed to be. We began questioning the accuracy of the directions and the reliability of the navigation system. Was it out dated information? Did it have all the facts? All the latest information? We zoomed out to get a better view of the road ahead and the options available. Once we did this we saw that it was indeed the best route to our destination. It was taking us in the opposite direction but it was all in all the shortest and best route to where we wanted to go. At that moment God spoke to me and said "Sometimes the best route to your destination may appear to be in the opposite direction". I immediately knew what He meant. I repeated it allowed to Eric and laughed and said "Boy, that'll preach!" So silly but just a simple word from Him can turn my questioning into a peaceful trusting. I know that I had been questioning whether or not God was aware of where I was. Had He forgotten me? Was he finished with me? Is this it? Did you lead me out into the desert to die? LOL! Okay.. maybe not quite that dramatic, but I was questioning Him. Was this really the best move for us? Am I where I am supposed to be? I did all I could to follow and had I missed the mark? Was my location registering on God's GPS? Did he have all of the current information on my situation? It made me laugh a little. How can I question God in such a way? Hasn't He always proven to be faithful even in my moments of unfaithfulness like this one? In the middle of my questioning His omniscience, omnipotence and goodness He encourages and reassures me instead of rebuking and correcting me. I will never cease to be amazed at His unrelenting mercy and grace towards me.

So I share this with you, whomever may read this.. all two of you. :O) If you feel a little lost, aimless, invisible and wondering if you are being led in the opposite direction, just trust in your maker. He has the best view of the situation and maybe a few steps in the opposite direction is the shortest and best route to your destiny.