In Between

Ever feel like you don't fit in the world, and yet don't really fit in the church either??? Well.. I DO! Been wrestling with this for a while... mulling it over... pondering, asking God to help me to understand or to change whatever needed to be changed in me. Then I started thinking about Jesus and his disciples and realized that I was in great company! Not saying that there aren't A TON of things that God is still working on in me... but just that my faults weren't the issue here. I wasn't made to "fit in". He made me for Himself... for His glory and for His delight! Wow. Cool. Then add to that the fact that His own son didn't quite "fit in" the church or the world either... and that all the disciples followed in the same vein. It seems to me that our world today is so very like the world when Jesus walked the earth. Lots of buildings filled with people following their religious rules, arguing about who's right and splitting into factions that support what they believe. Judging who is and who isn't more righteous and holy all the while forgetting to LOVE God and LOVE His people. While the world is broken and searching, seeking to fill the void with whatever their hands find; trying to be a good person or to measure up to what success looks like by the worlds standards. Jesus was peculiar... not seeking for mans approval though with His wisdom and understanding surely he could have easily climbed the religious social ladder and with his ability to communicate and counsel could have easily made many friends and allies and been a success in business. But He chose to live a peculiar life of total surrender to the will of God. Living every moment to glorify and exalt the Father by walking according to the principles of the Kingdom of God which are so opposite of the way we live here on this planet. So I am at peace in my role here in between... Seeking to learn more about His Kingdom and how to really live my life as a citizen of heaven here on earth. Though I realize it will be a bit lonely and will ruffle feathers on both sides as the typical church goers are sure to think I am a heathen and heathens are sure to think I am a hypocrite.